You are always righteous, Lord, when I bring a case before you.
Yet I would speak with you about your justice:
Why does the way of the wicked prosper?
Why do all the faithless live at ease?
You have planted them, and they have taken root; they grow and bear fruit. You are always on their lips but far from their hearts.
Jeremiah 12:1, 2 NIV
Father You have proven to be more than just a conqueror. You have shown the world that You are patient, loving, and forgiving. You have also shown us that the battle is definitely not ours it’s Yours.
Many of us question why a great deal of Your children who do good seem to die young and before their ‘time’, while there are those who do evil and cause great harm that walk around this earth as though they have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It doesn’t seem fair Father. But I know it is not up to us to decide fairness or try to tell You what should or shouldn’t be happening, because besides it not being our place, we can’t even get our lives together to do right in Your eyes.
Maybe we have to witness life as we do so that we see the importance of faith and obedience, and remind us that it is not a coincidence that we are here—but rather Your plan. So I pray that each day my doubt is removed and my courage increased, so that my faith is never questionable. As a follower of Jesus I pray to You. Amen.
Many of us have asked the burning question, “why” when someone we love or know (of) passes before what we perceive to be “their time”. We become frustrated because it just doesn’t seem fair or right that they didn’t get to live to see old age. Jesus didn’t leave this level of existence as an old man, he was younger than I am today. Tomorrow I turn 37. Most calculate that he was age 33 when he ascended from earth. Wrap your mind around that.
Those of us who are believers stand firm in our conviction that every millisecond of the day Jesus is cognizant of what we do, just as our Father is—-and we also believe that Jesus could be walking amongst us now and we would never know. So if we believe of this possibility, then why do we adjust our thinking about ‘death’ when it comes to other people?
I believe that we are spiritual beings who walk the earth in human form, and when we leave our shells behind and transition to the next level of existence, our spirit and soul doesn’t stay behind with the shell. So the same Power coming from the same Source, allows those same people to remain connected to those of us still walking around in human shells. Through our memories and pictures we keep them walking with us. Who knows, the same ability to walk amongst us as we believe Jesus does, could also mean that our loved ones come around from time to time to check on us—and maybe to serve as guardians that protect us from ourselves and others.
I say all of this to remind myself and each of you that we truly don’t know and we don’t know God’s plans, or why He does what He does and when He does it. God said repeatedly that we never would understand, yet we struggle each day trying our best to outsmart the One who created us. How crazy is that?
Wow it’s amazing how God works and how our faith is tested. So it has been an hour since I finished typing the last sentence that ended with, “How crazy is that?” After typing those words my phone rang for the second time from a second family member. I ignored the first call and the small voice inside my mind that told me to answer the phone, because I was deep in prayer and was beginning my reflection. This time that small voice in my head was louder and said, “stop and answer the phone”, so I did.
On the other end was my aunt who called to tell me that my uncle Ricardo passed away late last night (early morning where I am). This is the same uncle who I asked all of you to pray for who suffered a stroke two years ago, and a few months ago became unresponsive.
My faith is now really tested. Again.
Do I stand in my convictions of what I just prayed and reflected on earlier, or do I cave in and ask God “why didn’t You heal him? Why did he need to go so young?” And I stand firm and say, family, I have no questions for God.
I will not question why I didn’t see a text that came in at 1:17am from my aunt when she first found out and tried to reach me. I believe that I didn’t need to know then, it was meant for me to find out exactly when I did.
This long walk with my uncle was preparation for not only him but for our family. How do we see ourselves in comparison to God? How do we see life and so-called death? Have we forgiven past hurt or do we carry it through physical human death? I know one thing, my uncle is no longer in pain, no longer conflicted, no longer scared, and no longer wondering or waiting. My uncle is with my father (who passed away in 2001 at the age of 48). He is with our other loved ones (many who passed before “their time”). My uncle is where God can use him for yet another purpose. I believe this and don’t question the how, when, or why.
I’m grateful for the time I shared with my uncle. I’m grateful that I forgave the past and had a chance to give freely my love to him. I’m grateful that whenever I had a chance to visit with him that I did. I’m grateful that when it was in my heart to send him an inspirational card, that I did. I’m extremely grateful that the love of his life was by his side each day and that she will fulfill his wishes.
I want to celebrate his life, not focus on his passing. Hopefully what I just experienced (and that it has only been an hour since I got off the phone with my aunt) can help many of you. It’s not that this isn’t a blow to my gut, and that it doesn’t hurt. Yes, it hurts and yes I cried (and will most likely cry throughout the day and beyond), but my uncle’s peace is what means more to me than mourning that he won’t be around physically. I asked God to test me, to strengthen me, to mold me, and He is!
Copyright 2012. Natasha L. Foreman. Some Rights Reserved. All Prayers and Reflections are Copyright Protected by Natasha L. Foreman. breakingbreadwithnatasha.blogspot.com